Forgive Me,

for it has been 5 days since my last post. I have been sick this week with a nasty cold that came from who knows where. It's the kind that knocks you off your feet, the just wanna curl up in bed till it goes away kind of bug. I have been blowing and hacking and hacking and blowing since Saturday. (Insert your own jokes here) Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday, and although I have to work at the ungodly hour of 5 am, I will be heading home in the afternoon for the weekend. And again next weekend for turkey...mmmmmm, REAL turkey made by grandma, and pumpkin pie, and mmmmmm, just thinking about it is making my appetite that I thought had vanished return. On a side note, I got on the scales this morning just for fun. Seems if you wanna lose weight, the way to do it is stress and illness rolled into one. Did I mention ex is back to work in my store? 'Nough said.

I Hate Goodbyes

They make me cry. I just said goodbye to 2 friends who are moving in order to have better lives and fresh starts. They are in simlar situations to mine so I know how they are feeling. Although I have known them but for a short time, they are among the friends I have made who have stood beside me when I cried nd cried along with me. I know that on this journey called life, people come and go, but the ones that matter, really matter, stay, no matter the time or distance that may come in between. So I wish them nothing but happiness and peace. And I know that no matter what happens, I will not forget them.

Oh What A Night...

So when the going gets tough, the tough call up their friends and go out for a night of fun and freedom. When I was married, I think I lost touch with a lot of friends, not because I wanted to, but because we moved, had a baby and kind of lost touch with the rest of the world. I am now happyto say that I am surrounded by FRIENDS, the kind that I can call at any time of day and talk about anything. Aside from my family in North Bay, who have also been amazing and spportive, my friends here in Porcupine have really pulled through for me. And, I'm happy to say that it works both ways, they know that they can call on me at anytime for anything. There have been some tough times along the way, and I know there will be more to come, but now t doesn't seem quite so scary. So, to my friends, whether they be online friends(JB, NGB...), co-workers or other, I just want to say thanks. Oh, and if Ma's reading this, she's really kinda like a Ma, away from home. xo

The Big D

I am now officially on my way to becoming a mere statisitc. I am expecting the papers anyday now, and have mixed thoughts. Part of me is relieved that it will soon finally be over and part of me is sad that it had to end this way. I am from the old fashioned school of "for better or for worse", not run away when somthing you think is better comes along. Not like I got married with backup plan. So kind people, the 2 of you that actually read this, think good thoughts for me if you will, and if you know of any good lawyers in the Timmins area.....

Too Much Thinking

can cause a girl to cry. I have been thinking a lot this week about life what with Misster Kitty's dad, and other various friends who are going through hard times. I plan on going in to have a will drawn up in the next week or two and I got to thinking that when I go, I don't want to leave anything unsaid. So, I have decided to write a few letters to those who I may not say what I want to say right now. Good God, I can already feel the tears welling up. I know death is a part of life, but I dread the day when those closest to me will be gone. I know it may sound a bit morbid for a Saturday afternoon, but it's just what's been on my mind the last few days.

Oh,The Pressure

Okay, so here it is a few days late(sorry guys*blush*). Tomorrow Evan starts his senior K year and he is super excited cause this year he gets to go on the bus. Me, I am fine for the most part. Working with the ex (guess it's about time I start calling him that) was not THAT bad. Sure, it was a bit of an emotional thing, but I got through it. I actaully have to work with him a few times this week, and so far, nobody's lost any body parts...lol. Although there are days I would like to.....well, you get the idea. Anyway, if you have any other questions, comments or concerns(and no NGB, I didn't steal your cable lol) let me know and I would be glad to address them at a later date. I won't say tomorrow cause it's possible it may not be till a day or two later. xo

Part Deux

For you who want to know why I have not come up for air, it's cause the date that wasn't....wasn't. He had too much to do Wed night before heading back out of town to return to work. It's ok, I'm not in a BIG rush but Iam looking forward to the day when someone comes along and sweeps me off my feet again. In the meantime, I am working LOTS of overtime and Evan is home tomorrow. I missed him a lot, but I know he had a great summer, even if he was only actually hom for a grand total of about 2 weeks. On another note, tomorrow is a big day for me. Those of you who know the story will understand what I am about to write. For the last year or so, I have been back at Ma and Pa's store in South Porcupine and ex has been working at a different location also for Ma and Pa. Tomorrow, we will be working together for the first time in over a year. I have mixed emotions for a number of reasons, but this will be a test of exactly how strong I have become. As time goes by, I have come to learn that I am a hell of a lot stronger than I ever thought possible, and tomorrow, I hope it holds up. Maybe some hot guy will ask for my number on his coffee cup while he is there...lol. Anyway, I am off to the shower and get ready for bed. Will let you know tomorrow how things go. xo