My bad...

I figure by this point, nobody even bothers to check anymore since it has been so long since I posted, but what the hell, it's midnight and I can't sleep. That'll learn me for drinking coffee at 9:30 at night. So obviously a whole lot has transpired since my last post. I must say, the majority of it has been for the better, which is leading down the road to for better or for worse... This may drag on, but I gotta just go with it. When my husband left me for another woman 4 years ago, I wanted to crawl into a hole and never emerge. Never did I think I would entertain the thought of marrying again, but then life happened. Curtis and I did things a little backwards and non-traditional. We met in February or March of 08 and in mid-August we discovered I was pregnant. Before I realized that however, I had decided I wasn't ready for whatever I thought might happen and we took some time apart. In April of 2009, Noah was born and although I had thought that was the last thing I needed at that point in my life, I couldn't have been more wrong. In March 2010, I almost lost my best friend to an overdose, thank God she managed to pull through. Also in March 2010, I got hit with a lightning bolt out of the blue. One day I looked at Curtis and realized he was what I wanted and needed in my life. Skip to June 1st, we moved him into my 2 bedroom apartment which by this point was becoming quite "cozy". Then, last Thursday, on the heels of our first family holiday(minus Noah), he proposed. Given all that has happened the last little while(which is a WHOLE other story), I said yes. Life is too short to not take chances and live it to the fullest. So although things have been a little mixed up over the last 2 years for us, we are very much looking toward the future as a family... :)

Blur

So my last post was pretty positive, right? Well, since then, my best friend was admitted to the hospital for an intentional (almost) overdose, my dad had a third heart attack and is in the hospital in North Bay and my boyfriend has until June 1st to find a place to live as his landlord has decided to give the place to his daughter. Oh, and my bff and her husband have until May 1st to find a place as her landlord is losing his job and he and his wife and kids will be moving into the apartment. Needless to say, I am a wee bit emotional these days. In between seeing my bff and taking a quick trip to see my dad, I have been keeping fairly busy so as to avoid thinking about what could have been. Best not to think that way. Although we have only been friends for about 3 yrs, it feels like she and her family have been a part of my life forever. Her kids are my kids and my kids are her kids. We may not be blood, but we are family. Hell she was there holding my hand the day Noah was born. I miss her more than words can say right now, as her visits and calls are limited. All I can do is pray for the best and hope she lets the professionals help her. As for my dad, he is out of critical care but still in the hospital, for how long I do not know. I am a daddy's girl through and through and am not afraid to admit it, even at 36. It seems when it rains it pours. The only thing to do right now is take one day at a time, and be thankful I am not alone.

Spring...

A time of new beginnings, growth and change. I love spring rain, flowers blooming and the kids playing outside in the sunshine. Love is in the air. I can tell you that after 4 long years, a few bad choices and plenty of tears, I have found it in the most unexpected place. Noah's father and I are working on being a real family and I could not be happier. I can't ever explain how it happened. One day I went to bed and we were friends, the next, it was like an episode of the Twilight Zone. All of a sudden I saw him in a new light. And I realized that everything I had been looking for was right in front of me the whole time. Who knew? I guess it's like the old phrase you can't see the forest for the trees. Anyway, we are taking things one day at a time, but I can tell you to love and be loved, is the greatest gift of all...xo

Slight Change of Plans

So I won't be going back as soon as I thought. The other day my knee swelled to twice it's size so I made a trip to the ER, where they referred me back to the surgeon who did the operation. Long story short, I am not as ready to go back (physically) as I thought I was. I can be stubborn all I want, but in this case, my knees are doin the talking and they are telling me to let them recover. Ok, I hear ya...

The Countdown is On...

This time 2 weeks from now, yours truly will be back to the grind(s), literally. I cannot believe how fast the year has gone and the thought of returning to work brings with it many emotions. Although I have missed all "my girls" and my customers, there have been some changes over the last 6 months or so. One person in particular will be missed but she has moved on to other things and we remain the best of friends. I will miss my boys as well, having been able to do whatever and whenever with them has brought me much joy. Evan asked if I had to go back, and as much as I would love to stay home, I have yet figured out a way to get paid for doing that. Any suggestions? For now, I will enjoy my last 2 weeks with my boys and a raod trip with my BFF and return to work with a new attitude...lol

Long Time No See

I just realized a lot of time has gone by since my last post. Guess life has been busy... Boys are good, Evan is doing well and will soon be 8 and Noah took his first steps this week. I have now been off work 11 months and don't want to use the term "dreading" but definitely not super excited a the prospect of returning to work for a lot of reasons. 2010 is off to a start, I have no adjectives at this particular moment that would sum it up properly. First knee surgery is out of the way, second is scheduled for March 1st. One of these days I will elaborate on all that is going on in my little world, but for now, it's dinner time...;)