So as I write this, Evan has been to North Bay for a week and is headed back there next week. How does a 5 year old get more holiday time than his hard-working, tax-paying mother does? My holidays start on August 4th, which is approximately 24 more sleeps, but who's counting? Question for the parents....at what age is too young for the "where did I come from" discussion? I got some of that last night. Suddenly, when he asked where he came from and I told him "my belly", it just didn't seem like enough anymore. At least not for him. Is this one of the things I discuss with his dad before I say anything, or do I just go it alone? Answers people, I need answers! Maybe I will go to the book store and try to find something age-appropritae. Yeah, that's a good idea. Anyway, I am off to throw some laundry in. Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Is It Time for Holidays Yet?
So as I write this, Evan has been to North Bay for a week and is headed back there next week. How does a 5 year old get more holiday time than his hard-working, tax-paying mother does? My holidays start on August 4th, which is approximately 24 more sleeps, but who's counting? Question for the parents....at what age is too young for the "where did I come from" discussion? I got some of that last night. Suddenly, when he asked where he came from and I told him "my belly", it just didn't seem like enough anymore. At least not for him. Is this one of the things I discuss with his dad before I say anything, or do I just go it alone? Answers people, I need answers! Maybe I will go to the book store and try to find something age-appropritae. Yeah, that's a good idea. Anyway, I am off to throw some laundry in. 
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Okay, I'm not a dad, and Little Bro Dan knew quite a bit about where babies come from when we were matched (he was a month shy of turning 11), but I did have to handle a few delicate topics as he brought them up, into his teen years.
Based on that, go with your gut. Evan is probably too young for the entire story, but answer his questions honestly, and provide as much detail as satisfies him, telling him that as he gets older and will understand better without being confused, you'll tell him more.
Is he still close with his Dad? Because you're right, that might be where Evster should be hearing about the birds and the bees.
I suspect that when he was in North Bay, some other, probably older kids were talking about where babies come from, etc., and that's what piqued Evan's curiosity.
Among the million things that I'm thankful about as far as Dano is concerned, is that he always felt comfortable to ask. I know that it was a good foundation for the fine young man he is today, respectful to his girlfriend in particular, and women in general.
My most awkward moment: Watching the Brad Pitt/Morgan Freeman movie, Se7en. Dan was about 13 when we went to see it at Cinema Six. It was rated PG with no advisories attached. It is the darkest, most disturbing movie I have ever seen. Based on the seven deadly sins, it tracks a murderer who bases his killing spree on them. In one, he literally splits a hooker with a dildo-knife attached to a belt. Dan turns to me and says, "I don't get it, Bob. Did he have sex with her until it killed her?" Living by my promise to never lie to him, I answered yes, and said I'd tell him more about it some other time, which I did a couple years later, when he was ready for it.
The rest of his questions through the years were mostly guy stuff about sex, girls and so on.
But I digress. Still, I think if you follow your gut with Evan -- provided Daddy doesn't take care of the sex ed, you'll be okay.
JB, Milky, other guys who might be lurking, do you agree?
Looks like Evan could actually fit inside the bag that's on his back!
As a new parent, I'm no expert on when a child should be told the messy details of procreation, but I do know that the best thing to tell your kids is always the truth. Even now, before the twins can actually verbally communicate (a couple of new words pop up occasionally at this point, but no coherent sentences as of yet), I tell them the truth about everything. My only restriction on that is that it has to be a truth that I feel they are ready for. I believe my approach to the question about where babies come from will be to show the twins some baby animals (maybe at a zoo or a farm), and explain where they came from - and I might even do that before they even ask me anything about the subject - but I don't suspect I'll have to deal with them questioning me anytime soon. I'll start worrying about that once they begin to form sentences.
Good luck. You are Evan's primary caregiver. You don't need to wait for anyone's permission to tell him anything you feel you need to tell him. I trust that whatever you do will be out of love, which will only help to assure that it's the right thing to do.
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