Time Flies....

and change is a constant. Since my last post, there have been yet more changes. I am now a happily married woman living in new home and on the brink of starting a new job. After 13 years, I have decided to make a change on the job front. I finished my last shift at Tim Horton's on Friday with mixed emotions and one or two tears. See, without Tim's my life would be completely different. When I moved to Timmins 10 yrs ago, I was a newlywed and took a job at the Tim's in South Porcupine and assumed ot would be temporary until I found a different line of work. Turns out, temporary meant 10 yrs. In my time at that particular store, I made friends, got pregnant, had a little boy and life was good. Then it all turned upside down. Long story short, I became a single mother of one. That changed my life. I met a man who was also employed at the Square and we became friends. Ok, friends with benefits if I'm telling the WHOLE story. On August 11, 2008, he took a job at Future Shop and I turned his world upside down when I told him he was gonna be a daddy. At that point in my life, I was still very much confused and scared and lonely and a whole host of other emotions. Shortly after, I told him I was not ready for a serious relationship and we ended the "with benefits" part, but still reamined friends and in constant contact. After all, he was to be the father of my child...I delivered Noah on April 15, 2009 with the help of my best friend and for a long time, we did the whole sharing care of Noah. Then one day last March, we went for lunch and somwhere between picking him up and ordering lunch, I realized what a great man and father he was and that I would be a fool to let him get away a second time. We kind of picked up right where we left off, as if we had never been apart for 18 months. This summer he propsed, I said yes and bing bang boom, we were married New Year's Day. In addition to Curtis and Noah, I would not have met Laura, who is more or less the other half of me and my BFF. We get each other in a way only certain people can. She and I have seen a lot over the last 3 years, and last March I almost lost her. I am thankful everyday she made it through and was able to stand beside me as my Maid of Honour at the wedding. I couldn't and wouldn't have done it without her. So in addition to 13 years of income, Tim Horton's has given me many gifts that I would not have otherwise have. The love of a wonderful man, a second beautiful son and a best friend who is without a doubt, also family. For those things alone, I will forever be thankful.

My bad...

I figure by this point, nobody even bothers to check anymore since it has been so long since I posted, but what the hell, it's midnight and I can't sleep. That'll learn me for drinking coffee at 9:30 at night. So obviously a whole lot has transpired since my last post. I must say, the majority of it has been for the better, which is leading down the road to for better or for worse... This may drag on, but I gotta just go with it. When my husband left me for another woman 4 years ago, I wanted to crawl into a hole and never emerge. Never did I think I would entertain the thought of marrying again, but then life happened. Curtis and I did things a little backwards and non-traditional. We met in February or March of 08 and in mid-August we discovered I was pregnant. Before I realized that however, I had decided I wasn't ready for whatever I thought might happen and we took some time apart. In April of 2009, Noah was born and although I had thought that was the last thing I needed at that point in my life, I couldn't have been more wrong. In March 2010, I almost lost my best friend to an overdose, thank God she managed to pull through. Also in March 2010, I got hit with a lightning bolt out of the blue. One day I looked at Curtis and realized he was what I wanted and needed in my life. Skip to June 1st, we moved him into my 2 bedroom apartment which by this point was becoming quite "cozy". Then, last Thursday, on the heels of our first family holiday(minus Noah), he proposed. Given all that has happened the last little while(which is a WHOLE other story), I said yes. Life is too short to not take chances and live it to the fullest. So although things have been a little mixed up over the last 2 years for us, we are very much looking toward the future as a family... :)

Blur

So my last post was pretty positive, right? Well, since then, my best friend was admitted to the hospital for an intentional (almost) overdose, my dad had a third heart attack and is in the hospital in North Bay and my boyfriend has until June 1st to find a place to live as his landlord has decided to give the place to his daughter. Oh, and my bff and her husband have until May 1st to find a place as her landlord is losing his job and he and his wife and kids will be moving into the apartment. Needless to say, I am a wee bit emotional these days. In between seeing my bff and taking a quick trip to see my dad, I have been keeping fairly busy so as to avoid thinking about what could have been. Best not to think that way. Although we have only been friends for about 3 yrs, it feels like she and her family have been a part of my life forever. Her kids are my kids and my kids are her kids. We may not be blood, but we are family. Hell she was there holding my hand the day Noah was born. I miss her more than words can say right now, as her visits and calls are limited. All I can do is pray for the best and hope she lets the professionals help her. As for my dad, he is out of critical care but still in the hospital, for how long I do not know. I am a daddy's girl through and through and am not afraid to admit it, even at 36. It seems when it rains it pours. The only thing to do right now is take one day at a time, and be thankful I am not alone.

Spring...

A time of new beginnings, growth and change. I love spring rain, flowers blooming and the kids playing outside in the sunshine. Love is in the air. I can tell you that after 4 long years, a few bad choices and plenty of tears, I have found it in the most unexpected place. Noah's father and I are working on being a real family and I could not be happier. I can't ever explain how it happened. One day I went to bed and we were friends, the next, it was like an episode of the Twilight Zone. All of a sudden I saw him in a new light. And I realized that everything I had been looking for was right in front of me the whole time. Who knew? I guess it's like the old phrase you can't see the forest for the trees. Anyway, we are taking things one day at a time, but I can tell you to love and be loved, is the greatest gift of all...xo

Slight Change of Plans

So I won't be going back as soon as I thought. The other day my knee swelled to twice it's size so I made a trip to the ER, where they referred me back to the surgeon who did the operation. Long story short, I am not as ready to go back (physically) as I thought I was. I can be stubborn all I want, but in this case, my knees are doin the talking and they are telling me to let them recover. Ok, I hear ya...

The Countdown is On...

This time 2 weeks from now, yours truly will be back to the grind(s), literally. I cannot believe how fast the year has gone and the thought of returning to work brings with it many emotions. Although I have missed all "my girls" and my customers, there have been some changes over the last 6 months or so. One person in particular will be missed but she has moved on to other things and we remain the best of friends. I will miss my boys as well, having been able to do whatever and whenever with them has brought me much joy. Evan asked if I had to go back, and as much as I would love to stay home, I have yet figured out a way to get paid for doing that. Any suggestions? For now, I will enjoy my last 2 weeks with my boys and a raod trip with my BFF and return to work with a new attitude...lol

Long Time No See

I just realized a lot of time has gone by since my last post. Guess life has been busy... Boys are good, Evan is doing well and will soon be 8 and Noah took his first steps this week. I have now been off work 11 months and don't want to use the term "dreading" but definitely not super excited a the prospect of returning to work for a lot of reasons. 2010 is off to a start, I have no adjectives at this particular moment that would sum it up properly. First knee surgery is out of the way, second is scheduled for March 1st. One of these days I will elaborate on all that is going on in my little world, but for now, it's dinner time...;)